Why You Should Take a Vacation Now!!!
Going on vacation is FUN!!!! It’s an amazing change of pace, escape from the doldrums of the everyday, and a chance for some R&R. It’s even better when that vacation is child free. We love our son but sometimes we both need to let loose and sleep in together. This is a throwback post to the wonderful vacation my husband and I got to enjoy back in the fall. We went to beautiful Puerto Vallarta sans baby to spend a joint bachelor/bachelorette party with some dear friends of ours.
Before I had my son, I did not understand the idea of going on vacation without your child. My family always vacationed together, so it seemed normal for me that once you have kids, you take them everywhere. Fast forward to being an actual parent and I completely get the need for child free vacationing.
Once you have a baby, your world is changed forever. Your life is no longer just yours and the freedoms you have are drastically cut. But you don’t stop being you just because you are now part of the parent club. You may have been an adventurous soul criss-crossing the globe in search of pirate’s treasure, you may have had some dangerous hobbies that involved death defying stunts, you may have been a social butterfly not missing a single party. Those parts of you don’t disappear the moment the baby emerges out of your body. In fact, if those parts of you disappear altogether, I would urge you to seek counseling, as that is a hallmark sign of depression. They may take a back seat for a while, especially during the infancy stage but once things settle down, you may want to return to your favorite activities. One of which may be dedicating at least one vacation a year to be without your bundle of joy.
Vacation = Self-Care + Couple Care
A couple only vacation falls under self-care and coulpe-care. Often, when we are in parent mode, we are no longer in couple mode. We become just partners focusing on one main task, keeping the little human alive and satisfied. While we do that, we forget or simply don’t have time to care of ourselves as a couple. Stealing moments away in the evening after the kids are asleep is not always feasible. You’re probably too tired for anything. So sleep sounds way better than any bond building activities. But a vacation is different. It’s a chance to be you again. The you that didn’t have children. You can get up when you want, eat when you want and do what you want (I vote napping). You have time for yourself as an individual and you as a couple. Enjoy and savor it! A strong and satisfied couple is important for a strong marriage and parenting relationship.
I’ll be honest. It was nice going down to the hotel restaurant with just my husband and having a quiet breakfast without cleaning someone’s face off amidst crying and protesting. It was also nice to go back to our room, sit down and just do our thing.
I don’t let myself relax at home. Something always needs to be done. I even put my writing on the back burner, as it always seems that there is something more pressing that needs to be cleaned, fixed, moved to a different spot, you name it. Here I can just sit and write and be quiet. I miss quiet. I also miss being out in the world as a couple and not at trio. It’s so much easier. We can spend time tending to each other and not just communicate about who has the baby right now and could you please, watch him because I need to do something else (i.e. use the restroom).
It’s also refreshing to interact with other couples without children present. We don’t have very many couple friends in Charlotte without small children. So we end up spending time with them surrounded by the chaos that our broods create around us. And sometimes I just want to sip a drink, not watch my language, and connect to others without being pulled somewhere. And this vacation achieved that goal.
We got to see our friends from San Francisco (we only get to see them a couple of times a year at best) and enjoy the adult connection. Bonus for the resort being adults only! It allowed both my husband and I to reconnect with friends and with each other. Being around others helped spark new topics of conversation, taught us something new, and allowed us to maintain a connection to their lives.
We raised many a glass to our stay in paradise. And enjoyed every minute of it. But of course we didn’t forget to Skype with our son every day. Even though it’s nice to just be a couple, we’re not just a couple anymore and that 3 ft piece of our hearts is always missing when he’s not around us. Cheers!!!
Quote of the Day
Mental Health Tip of the Day
Enjoy your vacation to the fullest. If it means sleeping all day, do it. Watching show reruns, do it. Lying on the beach drink in hand, do it. Running around and exploring all the architectural sights, do it. There is no wrong way as long as it makes you happy. Self-care is number one on vacation.