Expectations: Part 2 - Labor and Delivery

Expectations: Part 2 – Labor and Delivery

Expectations: Part 2 – Labor and Delivery

Welcome to the Part 2 of the 4 Part series on Managing Motherhood Expectations. If you are a pregnant mama who hasn’t yet read Part 1: Managing Pregnancy Expectations, please do before continuing with Part 2. Because in Part 2, we are talking about labor and delivery expectations and how they can help or hurt us.

I think labor is one of the scariest experiences for women. We grow up hearing horror stories from our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and various family friends about labor and its after effects. It becomes ingrained in our mind that labor will be full of pain and suffering, and we fear it. That fear only grows as our pregnancy progresses. Taking childbirth classes may help alleviate your fear or it may deepen it. All depends on how you take in the information. But one thing remains the same – you expect that labor is going to hurt, A Lot!

Expectations: Par 2 - Labor and Delivery Birth Quote

Labor Pain Expectations

So how can we manage our labor expectations? Let’s start by being honest: Labor hurts! There’s no going around it. The intensity of the pain, however, depends on so many different factors that it’s impossible to predict how much. The baby’s size, position, your personal pain tolerance level, your comfort during labor, all play a role. But what’s even more important is not the level of pain, but how you respond to it. Many women are surprised by the amount of pain they can handle during childbirth. It’s a force, filled with hormonal floods that gives you almost superhuman powers.

I can personally attest that no two labors feel the same. While my first labor was drawn out and not terribly painful, my second rendered me immobile and in excruciating pain in a matter of 2 hours. I was glad for my epidural, as there was no way I would have been able to deliver without it. And while the pain is scary when you think about it rationally, when you’re experiencing it, you don’t really think. You just ride the wave of pain and do your best to manage it with available pain relief. Sometimes that pain relief comes in the form of drugs, and sometimes it’s about changing your positions and sitting in a nice warm tub.

Pain Relief During Labor

What about our expectations surrounding pain relief? It depends on the person. Some women will go in wanting an epidural from the moment they get pregnant, while others will stand firm on not receiving one. Whichever way you decide to go, should be up to you. And don’t feel guilty about it, no matter your decision.

But I will caution that epidurals work differently on different people, and complete and total pain control may not be possible. While I know friends for who the epidural knocked out any sensation below their waist, my personal experience was quite different. I experienced symptom relief only for contractions, and felt the pushing and crowning stage a bit more than I would have liked. While it was painful, it allowed me to get close to the natural birth that I desired.

You also need to remember that there are points when it’s too early or too late to get an epidural. So don’t count on having an epidural the moment your contractions set in. And while that may sound like a great option that will eliminate pain, it’s also an option that will stall out your labor, and may very well result in a C-Section.

So when your doctor tells you that you are not far along enough to receive an epidural, just know that they are not being mean to you, and only have yours and your baby’s best interest at heart. Just make sure you know how to manage your pain with some natural methods like moving, changing positions, counter pressure, a hot shower, etc.

And if you’d like to find out more in-depth information about epidurals, Sarah Reck, MD has a series of posts regarding epidurals.

Birth Plan Expectations

Women also tend to create a lot of expectations surrounding a birth plan. You will hear some very strong reasons for and against it. I’m personally very pro creating a birth plan, with one caveat: do not get disappointed if it needs to be changed. It’s OK. Think of your labor as an outline. You have your ideas laid out in a simple and straightforward way, but once you start writing, you may end up in a totally different place. And there is nothing wrong with that. Part of labor, and parenting as a whole, is that your best laid out plans can be derailed in a matter of seconds. And not only is there nothing wrong with that, but it also does not invalidate the effort you put into creating a birth plan.

As my doula explained, the reason to have a birth plan is to let the hospital staff know your wishes. This way they have a better sense what type of nurse to pair you with and what type of interventions you are ok with. It simplifies communication at a time where you want things conveyed swiftly and concisely. I used a visual birth plan from Mama Natural and it was great. Super simple to create and my doctor loved it because it’s in picture form. So no long drawn out memoirs.

Expect the Unexpected!

Overall, just expect the unexpected. Labor is a force of nature and just like all nature, it’s unpredictable and powerful. Your labor experience may be wonderful, traumatic or anything in between. Just know that you have done what you can and let the experience take over.

You’ve got this mama!!!!

Please, share your labor expectations in the comments.

And don’t forget to check out the rest of the series: Expectations: Part 3 – The 4th Trimester and Expectations: Part 4 – Your Growing Baby.


I’ve recently partnered with a Rachel Da Silva, RN, BSN, CLC, founder of Mommy Did You Know and became an affiliate for her prenatal and breastfeeding courses. She is now offering a Free and Premium Prenatal Course that covers everything pregnancy, labor and immediate postpartum related topics. And if you need more support and in depth knowledge, then you can enroll in her Childbirth Masterclass. And as a bonus, she runs live 1 hour online groups where you can ask her questions about anything pregnancy or postpartum.

And don’t forget to prepare for breastfeeding (if you’re planning on doing it). Rachel offers a free and premium version of her Intro to Breastfeeding Class. She has a variety of helpful resources on her page, including an online consultation to answer your postpartum related questions and a free (for members only) resource library. If you are interested in checking out and purchasing any of her courses, click here.

And the last thing I want to share with you is a discount: use the code MILKMINUTES10 to receive 10% off any of the paid courses. And use the code MILKMINUTES for 15% off in Rachel’s MDYK Store. She has adorable baby clothes and beautiful clothes for moms, pregnancy and breastfeeding accessories, and so much more.

Pin for Later

38 thoughts on “Expectations: Part 2 – Labor and Delivery”

    1. Thank you for sharing, Lynn. It’s always great when we roll with whatever comes our way and come out feeling positive about it.

  1. Expect the unexpected could never be more true! I went in firm on the idea of no epidural. Then after intense back labor, 2 hours of pushing, and an episiotomy. I don’t think there was a way I could of done it without. I went all the way until 9 centimeters before giving in. I think we need to stop putting pressure on people to not have one.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Aubri. Absolutely, we should not put pressure on anyone to choose or not choose an epidural. There is no medal for suffering but all sides should be considered. Epidurals do come with side effects. But there are many times when the benefits outweigh the negatives.

  2. Expecting the unexpected is great advice! You never know what will happen during labor. My labor was so quick that I don’t even remember the pain that came with it.

  3. Thank you for sharing. This is a great synopsis of the whole process. I have had 2 c-sections. The second one was scheduled and so much easier to recover from when I wasn’t in labor 18 hours before having it!!

    1. Thank you for sharing, Sandra. Yes, every birth is different and it does sound like a scheduled C-section is much easier recovery because you don’t spend all those hours laboring beforehand.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Kelly. Yes, C-section healing is definitely different. I remember needing my husband to help with the very basic tasks. I felt so powerless after my C-Section. Definitely couldn’t care for my son by myself.

    1. Expect the unexpected is the best way to put it! It’s great to have a plan, but also mentally prepare yourself for what may have to change.

  4. Thank you for sharing, childbirth has a great deal of misconceptions due to the information we get before we actually give birth. Everyone is different and going in with a well informed open mind is the best strategy.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Fatima. I know the disappointment all too well. Never dilated past 5cm in my first birth and it was rough to hear the news.

  5. I could not believe how hard labor was and how bad the contractions were! I thought I could do a natural birth but I could not believe the intensity of them and opted for the epidural and thank goodness I did!

    1. Thank you for sharing, Stephanie. Yes, labor can be a doozy. My second one was like that. I couldn’t even stand up or move or my own. The epidural definitely helped.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Cookies are yummy and help our site function better

Please, note that our site uses cookies. We use "cookies" to recognize, collect, and/or track information about, and relevant to, your usage of the Site. Upon your first visit to the Site (and periodically after that), we will request your consent to our use of cookies except for those strictly necessary. Please, refer to our Cookie Policy Page for more information.

Cookie Policy Page